Often times, the message of “wait” or “don’t have sex before marriage” is all we get. And the reasons for the waiting are not explained. I’ve found that the hardest thing to find are the biblical reasons to wait til marriage for sex. For some reason, it’s easier to find a secular list of why to wait.But if we’re really trying to live by God’s standard and know His good design for sex, we have to understand why waiting for sex is biblical and what the Bible has to say about it in the first place!
The Purpose of Sex
One of the purposes of sex is for union between the spouses. Why union? Well, let's think about what the purpose of marriage is first! Marriage on earth exists to point to the marriage between Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:31-32). The marriage between Christ and His bride occurs because of the covenant made between them by Christ's sacrifice and the Church's repentance & heart to follow Christ (Rom. 10:8-11). Without the covenant union, there would be no physical union.
The Reason for Sex
Since marital union is supposed to represent the union between Christ and the Church, and because without a covenant union there would be no physical union, the same applies to earthly marriage! Without the marriage covenant, there is no room for physical union. Sex exists to unite a husband and a wife after the marriage has occurred and a lasting commitment has been made. To enter into sexual activity outside of a marriage is to misuse sex and take it out the proper place for which it was created.
The Purity of Sex
The Bible talks about marriage being honored and the marriage bed being undefiled (Heb 13:4). This means that the marriage bed is pure when we follow God's design for sex (which means having sex only in marriage, with no fornication, no sexual immorality, no adultery, no prostitution, no pornography, etc.). It also means that sex and intimacy within marriage (free from the sins listed above) is not wrong, dirty, impure, or something to be ashamed of. Instead, it is good, pure, holy, and something to celebrate because of what it means and represents.
"One Flesh"
The "one flesh" union in marriage points to a greater "one flesh" union with Christ. During the marriage ceremony, when a man and a woman stand before the minister, they are two separate individuals. At the end of the ceremony, however, they are pronounced "husband and wife" and become "one flesh" (Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:25-31). But in our marriage union to Christ, the glorious exchange is far greater. Because of the representative union we share with Christ, the Father no longer looks upon us as sinful but sees only the righteousness and holiness of Christ. We are seen as "one" with Christ (1 Cor. 6:17).
Conclusion
Because marriage exists as a representative of Christ and the Church, it (and the sexual union in it), should follow the same pattern:
Covenant made
Marriage solidified
Physical/sexual union occurs
To do anything other than this pattern is to not see marriage for what it is as a representation of the Gospel. It also creates challenges to having a pure marriage bed if not removing the option for it to be pure at all. Ultimately, sex in marriage celebrates the covenant that has been made. With no covenant made, there is nothing to be celebrated!
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